“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going
out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's
no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Having obsessively re-read the Lord of the Rings trilogy a
dozen times, I was
practically hysterical with excitement to share my Hobbit homeland of Middle
Earth with George. And not only were we able to trace the Anduin River through
Fangorn Forest to the base of the Misty Mountains (a.k.a roadtrip from
Christchurch to Queenstown in a Ford), but we had the opportunity to check
several adventure sports off our bucket list -- and befriend some wonderful
Kiwis and backpackers along the way!
In a show of true Kiwi hospitality, one of my coworkers generously offered up his parents and their family farm to welcome us into the country. The Turners were exceptionally gracious hosts – after a meal of wild-caught smoked salmon, fresh beets and tomatoes, and several bottles of wine, they helped us plan an epic itinerary that took us through snow-capped mountain ranges, melting glaciers, untouched rainforest, coastal fishing towns, and pristine alpine lakes.
After driving through some of the world’s most beautiful scenery, we arrived at Franz Josef Glacier. There we hiked through the rainforest to the base of one of the world’s largest glaciers (outside of the North/South Poles), kayaked 10km through an alpine lake to a swampy kiwi sanctuary, and relaxed from the day’s activities by soaking in glacier spring hot pools. Our “Rainforest Retreat” hotel was a collection of 1940’s forestry worker cottages refurbished into charming cottages, centered around a “Monsoon Bar” (think Rainforest Café meets Jersey Shore). After a late night cheering on a few European backpackers who stripped naked to win a $50 bungy jump voucher, we had a slow start to the day and hit the highway Mad-Max style to reach Queenstown.
Although we sped by glacier river valleys, pristine rainforest, and jaw-dropping oceanside cliffs, we couldn’t resist stopping at a rural deer hunting lodge, an 1800’s restored town nearly 100 miles away from the nearest city, and for a hike through the forest and dry river bed to a series of misty waterfalls. And as we finally descended from Coronet Peak into the wine-growing and sheep-raising Queenstown valley, we were blown away by the natural beauty of the world’s “adventure capital.”
But we didn’t have too much time to dwell on the spectacular view – because we had a reservation on the Shotover Jet! The Shotover boats are massive, 3-ton vehicles with 700 horsepower that can force water through the engine so fast that they are able to travel over 60 mi/hr over only a few inches of rocky river bottom. The ride was so exhilarating that we immediately hopped on a second time – and not to say that we’re trendsetters, but it’s worth noting that Prince William & Kate copied us the next week ;)
Wind-blown and full of adrenaline, we searched for a relaxing restaurant and found the world-class Gantley’s, a charming restored stone 18th century cottage featuring a world-class gourmet tasting menu. After smoking a few Cuban cigars and enjoying 18-year Glenfiddich in the courtyard, we enjoyed a five course dinner featuring Atlantic scallops, New Zealand lamb chops, and locally-grown wines and befriended the retired world-traveling golfers at the next table.
We woke up the next morning in our lakeside hotel feeling a little “dusty” (as the Australians say), but leaped out of bed and choked down a hearty eggs benny breakfast. We needed the protein – because we were spending the day white-water river rafting on the Shotover River! After struggling into our wet suits and risking our lives driving up the world-famously dangerous Skipper’s Canyon Road, we started out by doing a little “swimming” – but even with a wet suit, glacier water is still freezing! So we quickly hopped back in the raft with our guide and started paddling full-force into the Class 3-5 rapids. It was a crazy adrenaline rush, and our only regret is not investing in a go-pro to capture the experience!
After a night indulging in a Fergberger and being serenaded by street musicians while strolling the shores of Lake Wakatipu, we woke up early to hop on a 12-seater Cessna to Milford Sound. As we listened to the whir of the engine, we flew over green and yellow rolling hills, snow-capped alps, dense forests, rugged coastline, and finally the fiords of the Southwest coast.
But the real magic was when we arrived in Milford Sound to board our nature cruise. After cruising past rocks covered in sleeping seals, we encountered a pack of bottlenose dolphins. Having sailed alongside wild dolphins in Maui, we remembered how friendly and curious these animals are. And we were not disappointed – they spent nearly 30 min riding the current of the boat, leaping up out of the water, and showing off for us!
Just when we thought the magic was coming to an end, the captain instructed us to grab a parka -- because a massive waterfall was cascading onto the boat deck! Damp and disheveled but overjoyed, we climbed back into the Cessna and enjoyed the spectacular views of farmland, canyons, sparkling rivers, and alpine lakes on the way back to Queenstown.
In an attempt to continue our pattern of fantastic dinners, we met one of our new friends from Franz Josef Glacier to take a gondola up to the top of the Skyline Resort. She recommended that we try “luging” – basically careening down the mountainside in a plastic go-kart with burned out brakes. George & I got more than a little competitive as we sped past wild mountain goats through the Autumn leaves looking out over the shores of the lake and the Remarkables Mountain Range. After making a few extra trips up the gondola and down the luges to maintain the adrenaline rush, we caved to our growling stomachs and enjoyed the fantastic views and spread in the Skyline Restaurant, including a meat carving station, assorted seafood from oysters to mussels, fresh salad bar, and cheese course.
The next morning after a hearty breakfast in a restored church, we drove alongside the cliffs of Lake Wakatipu to Paradise, Glenorchy, where most of the Lord of the Rings was filmed, to head out on the "Ride of the Rings". As I cantered along the riverbed and across sparkling streams on my gallant steed, George struggled to keep his horse from stopping to eat. So basically, they were two peas in a pod ;)
The next morning after a hearty breakfast in a restored church, we drove alongside the cliffs of Lake Wakatipu to Paradise, Glenorchy, where most of the Lord of the Rings was filmed, to head out on the "Ride of the Rings". As I cantered along the riverbed and across sparkling streams on my gallant steed, George struggled to keep his horse from stopping to eat. So basically, they were two peas in a pod ;)
Once the boys had their fill, we untacked and headed out to the Kawarau River Bungy – the first Bungy jump in the world! The ledge juts off a rusty old bridge strung between two walls of the canyon, with a glacier-fed river streaming underneath. Ever the gentlemen, George volunteered to jump first, smiled and winked at the camera, and bravely leaped off the ledge with a battle cry. After 43m of free-fall, he hit the river water and was jerked back by the bungy cord around his feet. I stood on the bridge nervously watching his fall, growing increasingly panicked with every passing second and slowly scooting inch by inch to the edge of the ledge. My brain tried to reason with me, reminding me that this was a legitimate business with audited equipment, but every muscle and instinct in my body was screaming “Are you insane? DON’T JUMP!”
After a few minutes of encouragement and peer pressure from the guides, I finally let loose an earsplitting screech and took the plunge. My stomach was in my throat, the wind whipped my face, and the 6 seconds to the bottom of the canyon felt like an eternity. But by the time the bungy yanked me upwards, I couldn’t stop howling with laughter.
Post trauma of the bungy experience, we hit up the gardens of the renowned Gibbston Valley winery to relax. There we were met with a framed picture of Jay-Z & Beyonce enjoying the reserve pinot grigio on a recent trip to New Zealand. We figured if it was good enough for America’s royalty, we could give it a try ;)
Early the next morning, we checked out of our picturesque lakeside retreat and headed out to the most beautiful place in the world - the Millbrook Golf Resort, home to the New Zealand Open. After George worked his magic on the American in the pro shop and negotiated a hefty discount, we walked on the 27-hole course and marveled at the staggering, sweeping views over the valley. Bordered by four mountain ranges, the golf course featured perfectly manicured greens, groves of maple trees turning all shades of fiery yellow, orange, and red, sparkling streams, tall grassy fields, picturesque swan lakes with restored mills and covered walking bridges, sheep pastures, wild mountain goats, and basically every type of natural and man-made beauty you can imagine.
After yet
another a world-class, wallet-busting gourmet lunch and dinner, we drove
through the mountains to a lodge near the stunning Lake Tekapo, where we
watched ‘90s movies late into the night and bemoaned the impending end of our
trip. We dedicated the next day to driving slowly back to Christchurch, greedily
feasting on the views of gently rolling hills covered in sheep, spectacular
alpine lakes, and staggering tall mountains and stopping to get our fill of NewZealand meat pot pies – a local delicacy featuring every type of combination
from wild boar and wild apple to wild rabbit and smoked salmon. After another
raucous dinner with the Turners, we boarded our flight to Sydney with
noticeably heavier suitcases (full of dirty, wet clothes) and remarkably
lighter wallets. But as reminisced on our world-class adventure, we realized
every dollar was well-spent on experiences that will last us a lifetime.
